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| Classic Deans...topless again |
Tuesday 20th July
We met up with the 'Beni Girls' on Las Ramblas. Some time after Zippy got in a trash can, but before she tried to steal a JCB, we bumped into a bunch of 'lads on tour (whaoh nuttaz)' and one of them, presumably jealous that I was with girls despite being smaller and less hairy than him, challenged me to an arm wrestle. He still owes me that pint.
Wednesday 21st July
We accidentally discovered a great way to get good seats on trains, which I strongly recommend. Not wanting to pass through France without 'embracing the culture' we decided to buy a shitty bottle of €2 wine and a packet of cheese, which we forgot about. 3 days later and the rotting cheese made Jeremies blackened orphan-feet smell like a fucking rose-bed in comparison. To our great surprise, people would offer their seats to us and insist that we have the whole carriage to ourselves. Deans thought they were 'being courteous'. Then he ate the cheese.
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| Casino de Monte Carlo |
Friday 23rd July
Monte Carlo is awesome. The lifeboats on some of these yachts are bigger than my house. The lifeboats have lifeboats. And those lifeboats have dinghies.
Yesterday we met a really pale guy from Switzerland, so I got out my Swiss Army Knife to show him all the cool attachments it had, like the tiny magnifying glass, and such. I asked him if he had a Swiss Army Knife, and if so, which attachment did he find most useful? To which he responded 'No - I use French knives because Swiss steel is too thin'. Typical boring-ass-fuck Swiss.
In Marseille we had nowhere to stay, so at 2am ended up checking into a bullet-ridden crack-den/brothel next to the station. The whore who showed us our room was genuinely terrifying and I was scared she was going to rape me and then charge me - like those guys at French markets who put a bracelet on you and then force you to buy it.
Tomorrow we are going to Milan.
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